Getting Through | A New Year

We’ve been on hold since last March, it’s now January 3^rd, 2021.  For many years, at least fifteen, there have been so many moments I’ve faced with the mindset of “getting through.”  Christmas party?  Ugh.  Another thing to get through.  It didn’t matter if it was a mundane task or a special event – life has often felt overwhelming and exhausting.  Get up, get ready, rush to work, fit in errands at lunch, go home, cook, help kid with homework, clean up, delegate, and put off what is possible, try to squeeze in some family time and self-care, fall into bed and then start over.  Then:  catch up on the weekends, and always with the feeling of not having done enough.  It has taken this last ten months to really understand what I already knew in my mind:  That we can’t keep up this velocity and find the deep fulfillment that comes from a more human-centered pace. 

And now, in this mid-pandemic world we live in, so many of us feel that we are on hold, hanging on to get through this “unprecedented” crazy time, getting through the quarantine, getting through each day until we can crack the wine or stop working or make our way to the next task or moment.

Cultivating Fulfillment

Fulfillment.  Joy. That is something I seek in the day-to-day.  Not in the skydiving, once-in-a lifetime trip sense, but in the regular living, quiet moments way.  The sun streaming through the windows with an hour to read way.  The Saturday afternoon nap way.  The no-pressure-deadline great conversation or let’s take a walk way.   Even though I decided this years ago, it wasn’t until being forced into our stay-at-home lives, that I’ve been able to cultivate these moments of fulfillment more regularly.  Every day, I have time to decide what NOT to do.  Whereas in the past, I would resent having to make dinner, I now (most of the time) embrace it.  It’s again become an opportunity to do something I’ve always loved to do.  And as a bonus, it’s often family time – we all enjoy time in the kitchen.    

Lately, more and more, I have been experiencing a different feeling about this very real, in-front-of us life.  Christmas this year was so very different, and despite being apart from extended family, it was a joy.  By virtue of not being able to do what we usually do, it became clear to me that over the course of many years, as we have kept adding obligations and parties and upping our wrapping and present game and decorating and then neighborhood decorating contests and prepping and cooking and travelling and cleaning and hosting and teacher gifts and more decorating and family calls and then finally sitting down, too exhausted to enjoy the fire in the fireplace – by not being able to do that this year, time was spent in front of the fireplace, not exhausted.  Fulfilling.  We “lightly” decorated – just enough to meet the minimum acceptable standard for our family.  We cooked to suit our tastes and ordered breakfast croissants for Christmas morning.  In the past, I would have made cinnamon rolls from scratch because this was a tradition that was hard to let go of.  Forevermore, I will permanently remove the cinnamon roll chore from my Christmas list.  It’s about doing less, sure, but also about awareness, making conscious decisions, and then awareness again about not doubting the decision and getting used to a new way of thinking.   On the face of it, simple, but it’s the permanent mental transition that is often the hardest to sustain. 

This New Year

So much of life is painful, challenging, and difficult, and so much of life contains beauty and joy.  What mental deck-clearing can we do this January to set ourselves up for more opportunities to find joy and fulfillment now?

Happy New Year! Sending love and light…