I am sitting on my porch, looking out at the fog and breathing in the loveliest cool morning air. We have been experiencing a heat wave for a few days now, but the mornings are lovely. Yesterday, the internal weather was also difficult, and it is quite possible I was not my best self with my family. I want to move forward, but like this fog, the residue of yesterday’s prickly, short-tempered, cranky mood has not yet burned off, and I find myself sitting in discomfort this morning.
I have not wanted to write about the pandemic because there is already so much out there, and the onslaught of news, opinion and advice is exhausting. And I am a silver linings kind of gal. But today, it seems essentially important that we permit ourselves to acknowledge our own feelings of grief and anxiety. To not do that strips away an underlying reality of our lives right now.
This is not a fishing expedition for empathy or compassion, but rather the work of internal acceptance for me, and by extension the same internal acceptance within others. For a space to acknowledge the unshiny feelings and moods we experience as we walk this path during this era in our lives. There are times when we need to “buck up, ” and there are days in which can allow grace and give voice to our inner realities. Just this very acceptance can often be the path leading out of the tangled and dark woods we find ourselves in.
I hope that this short piece is taken in the manner intended – an exploration of allowing some of our very real difficult feelings to exist. On this Monday morning, I thought I would share these thoughts, with the hope that if you too are struggling, this makes you feel less alone and maybe a little more at peace, even as you sit in your own discomfort. The mood and weather will change as it always does.
With love and light, K
Photo by Artur Rutkowski on Unsplash