Wednesday Workbench #18
Back in the Saddle
It’s been quite a while since I’ve published a post, and I’m so happy to be writing again. I left off in May of last year, to enjoy a whole lot of new things – family in town from Milwaukee, our son’s graduation from high school, a 7000-mile, five-week road trip to the Adirondacks and back (with the dog!) There were shenanigans over July 4th with family in Crested Butte, Colorado, and also in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Saranac Lake, New York, and Burlington, Vermont. Got to see some Vermont cousins and catch up with a lot of friends. On the way there my husband Tim and I drove – it was dreamy to have time together. We picked up the kid in MKE for the last leg of the trip, and then my one of my best girlfriends and her hubs met us in the Adirondacks; she and I then drove a dreamy 10-day drive back to San Diego. It was exceptional!
In addition to this fun, my regular work continued as well as new opportunities with some HR consulting. We spent the fall launching the kid into his college classes at a local junior college; we also had fun with our art and house projects. Family visits over the holidays, and what? Now it’s almost April?!?
Big News – A Launch!
So here we are, and I have some exciting news to share. I’ve decided to deepen and expand my coaching practice and am open for business! I’ve been coaching in the workplace for years and am now also offering my services for individual and group coaching. This dream – providing coaching to help others build and create – has been in the works for several years, and I am happy to be able to accept new clients. If you know of anyone who is ready to take the next steps towards realizing their dream or goal, please spread the word. For more information, or to book a complimentary consultation, check out the website here.
Reading Right Now: Option B
Can I just say, I really love Sheryl Sandberg’s writing?!!! I was deeply influenced by Lean In and this month I’ve been reading Option B, which she co-wrote with Adam Grant. The book is about facing adversity, building resilience, and finding joy – timely topics, always. She incorporates a personal tragedy in a direct way but also with grace and with a breadth of research that weaves in science, culture, and a sociological perspective on building resilience in the face of hardship. Each chapter has presented a new idea that can be applied to growth – at work and at home.
A few of the gems:
On Raising Resilient Kids:
“Resilience is not a fixed personality trait. It’s a lifelong project…Building resilience depends on the opportunities children have and the relationships they form with parents, caregivers, teachers, and friends. We can start by helping children develop four core beliefs: 1) they can learn from failure; 2) they have some control over their lives; 3) they matter as human beings; and 4) they have real strength to rely on and share.” (p111)
On Compassion and Self-Confidence
“Writing about traumatic events can decrease anxiety and anger, boost grades, reduce absences from work, and lessen the emotional impact of job loss. Health benefits include higher T-cell counts, better liver function and stronger antibody responses. Even journaling for a few minutes a few times can make a difference.” (p 63)
On Failing and Learning at Work
“Accepting feedback is easier when you don’t take it personally. Being open to criticism means you get even more feedback, which makes you better. One way to lessen the sting of criticism is to evaluate how well you handle it. “After every low score you receive,” law professors Doug Stone and Sheila Heen advise, you should ‘give yourself a second score’ based on how you handle the first score…Even when you get an F for the situation itself, you can still earn an A+ for how you deal with it.” (p 151)
At the Workbench
How can you put these ideas to work for you? Maybe you are in the process of cultivating your own resilience. You may be curious about writing or journaling about your trauma. How open to feedback are you, really? This is what I’m going to focus on this next month at my workbench. It is my intention to solicit and stay open to feedback and remember to not personalize it. I’ll let you know how it goes! I invite you to consider some of these ideas and pick one to experiment with in your own life.
Final Thought:
As we close today, we each have opportunities every day to cultivate joy and resilience in our lives.
Take a moment.
Stop.
Notice.
Today, were you present enough to notice the birdsong, the sun, or the rain? Or maybe you witnessed a leader complimenting a colleague, or someone holding the door for another. These conscious acts of noticing are a counterbalance to our relentless self-critical tendencies and the chronic stress many of us experience. Staying present and acknowledging the little moments seems trifling but can become a habit of positivity that helps us in our darker, difficult moments. It builds joy and resilience; it also catalyzes energy to deepen the contributions we make in the world.
Sending love and light, K
Resources
- Book: Option B by Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant
(If you can, support your local, indie bookstore!)