What Lights YOU Up?

 

I am in love with all of the great brains out there making things and putting them into the world.  For example, this:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

– Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love

And this:

A bowl designed with nails and electricity, found at the farmers market. Stunning!

My mom sent the quote to me in one of her beautiful Mom moments.  She has been such a light and fount of gentle guidance, kindness, patience and inspiration.  I often resist whatever she graciously gives me (sorry, Mom, I know I’m difficult) but I always come around, and am ever so grateful for her, many times each day.

These words especially:

“Powerful beyond measure.”

“Who are you not to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous…?”

“Your playing small does not serve the world.”

“As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”

The first time I read this, a door in my mind creaked open.  Yes!  As you read this, how does it make you feel?  Before that voice of “reason” steps in, is there excitement and hope?

I’ve been pacing around my house for about a week struggling with writing this piece because there is a piece of research I can’t get my hands on and I REALLY wanted to include it.  It’s been driving me nuts; been wracking my brain for days.  But now, that’s just an excuse.   Here’s the gist:  whatever goals we set for ourselves, we automatically put limits on them, even when we think we are dreaming big.  We can always aspire higher.

Being willing to step out of the comfort zone and even admit that we want something often feels dangerous.  In my own creative journey, It is easy for me to say right now that my dream is to move from writer to author.  I’ve gotten comfortable with this thought, but it has taken several years to get to this point.  And there is a much bigger dream in the works, one that I am not entirely at ease with yet.  At this moment, right now, today, it feels really intimidating to write it here, for others to see and judge; I’m not quite ready for that.  The point is, this is ok.  We should nurture our aspirations and share them when the time is right.  It means that when we set our goals, we should come back and push the boundaries even more, even if it takes some time for our courage to catch up; for the idea to germinate and grow, to emerge and evolve.

Kyle Cease in his awesome podcast with Lewis Howes talks about the two voices that show up in his body when he is in the process of building his dream.  The first voice will ask the question: “What if I?”

These are the types of questions that get you into real trouble, the good kind.  What if I take a month off and travel?  What if I go back to school?  What if I pursue a new job?  What if I?  The questions this voice asks result in a feeling of expansiveness, excitement, possibility.  We feel it in our very bones!  Very soon after this voice asks that question, a second voice shows up – one that is smaller but louder, the one that comes up with the dumbest reasons to not do something.  We have learned to listen to that voice, and in some cases, it serves a very necessary evolutionary function, but more often we use it to put roadblocks in our own way.  To make excuses for saying no.

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One article that has shaped my thinking comes from the executive coaching world.  Catherine Fitzgerald, in her chapter Understanding and Supporting Development of Executives at Midlife has worked with many of her clients in surfacing their own dreams within the professional realm.  One of the questions she asks is this:

“If your life, with its unique history, successes, failures, talents, values, and interests – were preparing you to make a unique and valuable contribution to the world, what might that contribution be?” 

She has found that her clients have extremely interesting and personally meaningful responses to this question.  And answers that start as being vague usually become clearer over time.  Another significant finding is that those clients who are in midlife and are feeling somewhat stuck – they often have had emerging interests that don’t fit neatly into their current lives and are confused by them.  What she has found, though, is that a significant transition is taking place.  This transition incorporates our very human desire to create meaning and combines it with the integration of our identities.  So, the accountant that wants to paint, the artist that is interested in business, the electrician who wants to start playing guitar– this indicates a deepening within a person, an evolution.  Trust this voice.

When dreaming big, you will always hear from yourself or from others:  What if I fail?  Change my mind?  Run out of money or time?  What if others think it’s stupid?  What if no one can see the benefits?  All of these thoughts are normal, some of them may even be useful, but we shouldn’t let them be the hem in the fabric of our evolution.  Temper the doubt with other voices – the ones that say Go for It!  The ones that know failure is part of any success.  The ones that are unwilling to let convention get in the way of possibility.

I listen to inspirational podcasts on my daily long commute, and this practice has kept expanding the boundaries of my own dreams.  Let me tell you, the company you keep does matter.  We tell our kids this, but we forget that it is true for us adults too.  For at least an hour each day, I listen to people talking about growth, productivity, creativity, how to do things, how to overcome obstacles and it instills in me the desire to go back to the workbench and keep creating, striving, trying…aspiring.  It helps me remember my aspirations when I’m tired or discouraged, or when others don’t/won’t/can’t see the value in the dream.

What is trying to emerge from you?  This was a question that one of Kyle Cease’s mentors asked him, and one that stuck with him.  If any of this opens you up and gives you that feeling of excitement and hope, listen, cultivate.  The creative energy you have within can lead to greatness – in small ways and large, and this is the good news we need to have more of in our lives: for fulfillment, for serving our families and organizations, for showing others.  What is trying to emerge? Take this and Aspire…Higher.

 

Resources:

• Good old Mom!  🙂  Thank you…
• Podcast: Lewis Howes School of Greatness Episode 478 with Kyle Cease
• Fitzgerald Catherine. (2002). Understanding and Supporting Development of Executives in Midlife. In Executive Coaching, Practices and Perspectives.  (89-117). Palo Alto, CA