There Was Evidence of Fun
A few years ago, I believed this season of life (mid-career, parent of a teen) mostly held only a boatload of work. Work raising the kids, work dealing with career, work on relationships. Even vacation consisted of a lot of work – preparing both work and home, making travel arrangements, getting there, then trying to enjoy it amidst the inevitable conflicts both with self and others – all figuring out the down time groove.
Stress and work and overwhelm. I was bummed because I didn’t want to be THAT person – the one who couldn’t relax, the one overwhelmed on the weekends, not even wanting to go to the beach because the thought of having to prepare: getting the food, packing the gear, hauling it, finding parking – none of that seemed worthy for the short time actually spent there. Same for going out – after a week of work, with “Saturday House” – all the undone chores – it did not seem fun.
More recently, I’ve had a shift in my thinking, and rather than working harder and faster to try to get more done, I’ve redefined MY rules. No longer will I slave to someone else’s definition of a good life – I’ve created my own – one that mixes my individual style of work and fun.
There are few things going on here, things that need to be brought to the light.
Sense of Epic. Part of the problem with having FUN these days is this picture we have in our head of what we need for things to BE fun. Whatever you are doing, there is this idea that if you had just this one other thing, it would be even better. That is a LIE. Don’t succumb! I only need a towel, book, water and bathing suit for the beach. And, if I don’t care if my car seat gets wet, I really don’t need anything except the beach. How fun is it to take an unplanned swim in the summer? That is what’s epic – and that action and memory stick with you forever. I can live without the frisbee, umbrella, boogie boards, shovels, and anything else – it takes the fun out of the trip for me. Obviously, this is my definition – others may want to set up camp for the day and that works for them.
To hell with the housework. (Or any of the other “Should’s”). As Stuart Smalley and my good friend London say: “I will not ‘should’ all over myself.” I am sitting in my Saturday House right now with dishes strewn everywhere, laundry un-done, groceries un-bought and don’t care AT ALL. I might care (a little, for maybe a second) if someone stopped over, but not enough really to stop this writing fun to get that done. And when I’m done here, I am heading out to a music fest (Spring Harp Fest in La Mesa for any San Diego folks, check it out) so I’m not sure when the damn dishes will get done. No longer will I put off the things that bring joy for a never-ending chore.
Saturday Kitchen
Seek out YOUR joy. On my walk this morning, there was evidence of fun everywhere. The mourning doves were playing in the trees and on the grass. Yellow foam nerf bullets were strewn across a neighbor’s lawn, and there were skateboards in another yard. The frog chorus last night was full blast, and there was dancing and coffee this morning before 8:00 AM to Pandora’s “Funky Breaks” station.
So…if you have those moments when everything feels like so much relentless work, you have permission to redefine the rules…and find YOUR Fun. It will leave evidence of EPIC on your life.